Facebook And Stuff

Obviously we’ve seen our share of media lies, but the latest fabrications circulated take a big slice of the cake. The UK Daily Mail reports that I was “in tears” as Todd “rages over Hollywood stars ripping” me in the new film “The Undefeated.” Huh? Really? The beautiful town of Pella, Iowa, was flooded with an army of media covering the premiere of this film. You’d think someone would have caught those tears and rages on tape, right? Well, here’s a video of the remarks I made at the Pella Opera House right after viewing the film. The emotion clearly displayed was gratitude to the filmmakers who invested their own time and money into highlighting my team’s record in Alaska. Todd and I were overwhelmed with gratitude, and we hope everyone sees this film.

Hmmm, let me check out this UK Daily Mail article

An insider told the National Enquirer: 'Sarah was brought to tears and Todd was livid after they saw the movie with a crowd of supporters in Iowa.'

According to the Enquirer, another source said: 'Todd is rip-roaring furious over the way this film turned out.

Jesse Griffin, who runs the Alaska-based website ima53yearoldmanwhoclaimstobebothimmoralandintheminoritysoimsuperfuckingbadassorsomething.blogspot.com, told the Enquirer: 'Sarah Palin blasts the Hollywood elite as horrible people, but there's a danger voters will laugh at the jokes celebrities make about her in the movie.' <_< Wow. That's some amazing analysis, Jesse Griffin

Again. There are clearly no more important things going on in the world than Todd supposedly getting ragey or something. So you should definitely spend your time debunking stories that are clearly false and that cite the National Fucking Enquirer and Jesse ChildFucker Griffin.

This reminds me of an older facebook post she type-type-send BOOM taste her whatever fight like a reloading girl because it's GAME ON!-

But two decades in politics have taught me that when it comes to picking battles, often it’s best to ignore the truly petty, ugly personal media shots because engaging in a counter argument with disreputable, intolerant people doesn’t vindicate me; it merely gives those people the attention they seek. It wastes my time and it distracts from what we should focus on.

How easily we forget those important life lessons that two decades in politics have taught us.

===============================================================

Guess who said the following

"No matter how much money I have someday, all I want to do is live comfortably, not worrying about bills, food or even a few clothes. Everything in moderation and modesty." 

"I want to write a partial memoir/comedy/relationship advice book for those not in the know. It's a way to settle many rumors and to share my insight about love, life and most important - God."

"I want to donate money to charities- leukemia research, breast cancer, cervical cancer."

Here's a hint- It's not Bristol Palin.

===============================================================

This spot was originally going to be filled with multiple paragraphs about Shailey Tripp and how funny it is that my troofer audience takes the word of an admitted liar and shameless whore(email auction!), but then I realized that I don't give a fuck.

I stole this racist .gif from somewheredotorgnet

Bristol Palin- LOL I Wasn't Raped, I Just Agreed To Have Sex While Drunk And Unconscious

Let's start with someone who is not Bristol-

“Not Afraid of Life” is a candid, sometimes sad, often hilarious story. Once you start it you won’t be able to put it down. And the pictures are adorable. Tripp gets a mohawk and we finally get to see Track’s Statue of Liberty tat.

All she cares about is the pictures

Seeing has how Tripp has a fat baby/oldman face, I'm going to assume that he looks like a little baby douche bag with a mohawk. Everybody who isn't a Mohawk Indian looks like a douche bag with a mohawk. Especially blond crackers from Alaska.

Now let's move on to the main event-

"Isn't he so cute?" Sarah Palin's eldest daughter says softly before placing him in the middle of her suite's king-size bed. "He was so mad last night because SpongeBob wasn't on, and he was just screaming." She chuckles ruefully.

>_> It's a small world after all. And twenty bucks says that if you asked Bristol what the word "ruefully" means she would stare at you blankly for a few seconds before going off on a high pitched, rage fueled tirade about the lamestream medias and gotcha' questions. It's all learned behavior.

"I wanted to let readers know that I'm going to own up to my mistakes," says Palin, who in person is direct, thoughtful and confident.

Palin says she was so drunk she doesn't remember what happened, but Johnston confirmed her fears.

"I'm not accusing Levi of date rape by any means," she says. "I'm just honestly looking back on it with the eyes of an adult. That was five years ago, and I'm realizing that it was a dumb decision." Hoping to someday marry Johnston, she continued sleeping with him, she writes.

So she's either copping out on owning up to her mistakes by lying about being so drunk on wine coolers that she doesn't remember what happened, or Levi Johnston got her drunk/drugged on something and then proceeded to rape her.

When you get drunk to the point of blacking out, you aren't all giggles and good times. What you are is a stumbling, incoherent, uncoordinated mess. A mess that will most likely end up getting covered in vomit. When you're in that kind of condition, you can barely preform simple tasks like rolling over onto your stomach to avoid chocking on vomit. And you definitely can't make decisions for yourself. The perfect target for a rapist.

Bristol claims that she was so drunk that she doesn't remember what happened, so she's basing her story of what happened that night solely on the testimony of Levi Johnston. The same Levi Johnston that she later says needs to hire a screenwriter to help him write more lies. :\ Gee, I don't think he's very trustworthy source of information, Bristol. Are you sure you wanna take him on his word? I mean, he doesn't look like the kind of man to admit to date raping your motionless body. :\  

You took ecstasy and got raped, Bristol. Just admit it.

"I hate the word abstinence," she says. "My mom knows I hate that word, everyone knows I hate that word. People think that I'm just 'abstinence only, do not have sex.' No. If you're going to have sex, practice safe sex. But the best option to prevent teen pregnancy is to not have sex."

So she hates the word but not the act? Or she hates the word and the act but pretends to like it now that people are giving her money? How did we get back to abstinence is blue balls? I thought that was 2009 FoxNews interview Bristol- before she had a spiritual awakening aka mom chewing out her ass. She really needs a pay cut. I don't think young girls are going to get the message when the messenger is a high functioning special needs lady.

"I just wanted to note in the book that it's a huge example of how different our worlds were," Palin says. "Both of us have grown up with political parents — but I think hers defined her and mine didn't."

This is sad because I think Bristol actually believes what she's saying here. Without pro-life, common sense conservative icon Sarah Palin there is no Brystal: SuperStar. If Bristol Palin was Bristol Murkowski, no one would give a shit. All the mindless evangelicals that are going to scoop up this book just because they like her mom wouldn't give a shit. I wouldn't be wasting my time writing this because I wouldn't give a shit. The TV producers wouldn't be sending her offers because they wouldn't give a shit. The pro-life groups wouldn't be paying her thousands of dollars to give poorly executed speeches because they wouldn't give a shit.

She's just like the delusional retards on American Idol that Sarah wrote about in America By Heart.

But the camera and the blogosphere can be vicious. Palin recently underwent jaw reconstructive surgery, calling it "necessary for medical reasons." (Her face was in danger of swallowing itself.)

In person, a double take is required to first recognize her. The fullness of adolescence in her face is gone, leaving her with a much more angular look.

"Why do people care?" asks Palin. In the mirror, she says she can't tell much of a difference. "Do people care when someone gets braces or glasses? (Really?) Honestly, I'm just thankful I have tough skin to deal with that kind of stuff."

People care because they have to look at your new face and it's noticeably worse than the old one. And people also care because you lie and say it was "necessary for medical reasons" when you would have been just fine without it. Just say that you have incredibly low self-esteem and seeing how fat you were/are on TV made it worse, so you went out and got your turkey neck cut off and a new chin glued on.

It's downright nasty. I used to make fun of Levi Johnston's sister for having a man chin and now I can't do that anymore because Bristol's new chin out chins her chin. And of course people will now laugh at her forever and say stupid things like "Heh-Heh That new chin is a nice target for me to aim at after you bring me to orgasm by way of oral sex Heh-Heh".

"I think that there's some things that stay at the family dinner table," Palin says. "Do I want her to run? Absolutely. I think she'd be awesome for our country."

Fuck you.

Bristol knows that a Sarah Palin 2012 run is good for her career. That's all she cares about.

>_> What the fuck? Given some of the subject matter above, I don't know if this is the appropriate time to be doing that...

A TokiDeLaSquarePants Production

Holy shit

"Her heroic basketball performance in high school, when she played on a stress-fractured ankle and led her squad to the State championship"

Once when I was playing baseball as a little kid I got hit in the face with a ball and it knocked one of my teeth out, so I went over and handed it to my parents and then kept playing. Is that any indication of the kind of person I am today? No. Not even a little bit. When you rely on shit like this, you make her look ridiculous.

"the immortal grace and glory of her bringing her precious little Trig into this world, instead of murdering him, as so many on the Left would have done"

I really love when they prop Trig up as this idol so they can say things like "instead of murdering him" and call it "immortal grace and glory" when really it's just being strong-willed and secure in your convictions and has absolutely nothing to do with what "so many on the Left would have done" because I highly doubt that's what Sarah was thinking about when she didn't go get an abortion. I really, really, really hate when these cunts people act as if everything in life fits neatly into their political dichotomy or has something to do with some bombastic religious dogma when usually things in life, even if you're Sarah Palin, are mostly just personal choices that no one will ever fully understand because they're not in your head.

I replaced my old phone with a new phone because the old phone kept being a dick. I felt sorry for the old phone when I put him in his box to go back to Verizon. It's not his fault he's a little broken. I guess when faced with less than ideal phone circumstances instead of choosing life I murder my phone you get where I'm going with this and it's not even a good metaphor but I tried to get there and then it got away from me :( Time to rock

Motivational Speaker and Lifestyle Coach Bristol Palin: "I'm a slut"

My Dear Friends in Bristol,

Let's start with this-

The bids by Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol Palin to trademark their names and images have cleared a major hurdle and should soon be approved for the potential presidential candidate and her Dancing With the Stars child.

[...]

Bristol Palin's is focused on "providing motivational speaking services in the field of life choices."

Then move on to this-

Are they real?

haha im a slut. but sounds good..what number?

I can't believe ellipsis

haha, my mom was asking me who i was on the phone with last night, and she said she heard everything i was saying..now she thinks im pregnant..<3

I've never seen or heard about these before. :\ forever

hey, hahaha i went and shoot a tree!! i was so scared of the kick-back and the noise though..everyone had to help me and i was embarrassed. but anyways how was your day?? tracks little bitch ass decited to tell my parents im a stoner..he's soo tight..and when i get home, im gonna kick him in the balls. you should have stayed home this week though, im flying out in like half an-hour..it's going to be gay, im going to glenalen..GAY

Probably.

And finish up with this-

Sometimes being a mama grizzly means you have to cast your cubs out of the den.

2012 Campaign Slogan: I Lost My Virginity While Drunk

It's better than "Wine coolers for blowjobs".

I'm not in any condition to be doing this right now

Fuck it

===============================================================

Don't show it off if you can't pull it off

When Bristol Palin lost her virginity, it wasn't the romantic experience she had envisioned. (O_O That's quite an opening statement)

In her new autobiography, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, the 20-year-old single mom reveals that, while drunk for the very first time(Does anybody, besides her parents and Nicole Coulter, actually believe that bullshit?), she lost her virginity to Levi Johnston during a camping trip.
Palin says she woke up alone in her tent, with no recollection as to what happened. Johnston, meanwhile, "talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas."(No recollection of what happened, eh? That probably means that after Ricky was done ripping your hymen, he passed you over to the others for some oral stimulation. Stupid girl.)

PHOTOS: When stars lost their virginities <_<

When she confronted him about their sexual encounter, Johnston, now 21, told Palin what she wanted to hear (Does anybody, besides her entire family and Nicole Coulter, actually believe this bullshit?): they wouldn't have sex again until they were married.

But, Palin writes, they became intimate again shortly after (What!?! But she just said in the previous paragraph that dwe chdiwqhfe cdwqhfewh cndwiqh! This deserves a more thorough investigation).

Step 1: Why did these yokels get intimate with each other after making a solemn/hungover promise to wait until marriage over Brystal's semen filled slop-hole?

• Brystal Palin is a drunken nymphomaniac who can't get enough penises in her body
• He was raping her
• He swooned her with his charming personality
• Bristol Palin is a chubby, gullable loser with no self-esteem who, unsurprisingly, just happens to be dumb enough to think that mindlessly grinding genitals together and taking dick to the mouth = tru <3 4 eva

Step 2: Examination

• Highly plausible
• Also plausible
• LOL monotone hillbilly from the sticks
• Winner

When she learned she was pregnant in 2008, Palin was on birth control pills prescribed to treat her cramps(Funny that you would wait so long to tell everybody about this); it took eight home pregnancy tests to convince her that she was expecting.(How many bottled waters did she drink? I hope she recycled.)

VIDEO: Watch Bristol's final performance on DWTS! <_<

Palin's parents, to her surprise, were incredibly supportive.(Aw) They also reminded her to stay focused on the future, particularly her continuing education.(Baw) Johnston's reaction was less comforting. "Better be a f***ing boy," he told her.(<_<)

The memoir, co-written with Nancy French, describes Johnston (the father of Palin's 2-year-old son, Tripp) as a "gnat" (code for small penis) who is "constantly spreading false accusations against our family." Palin also calls him a self-involved slacker "who cheated on me about as frequently as he sharpened his hockey skates."(What? I don't know what that means. Does he sharpen his hockey skates a lot? Is that something self-involved slackers do? I don't know. This metaphor sucks. Is this supposed to make people feel bad for her? What it actually does is make me think of her as more of an asshole. I didn't take her for a doormat, but I was clearly wrong. What a pussy she is. Bleh.)

VIDEO: Levi and Bristol talk about their relationship <_<

And yet, Palin writes that when her mother, Sarah, was introduced as Senator John McCain's vice presidential pick in August 2008, being on display with Johnston "somehow legitimized us as a couple."(Again- What? I really have no idea what this is supposed to mean. Nancy French is an excellent con artist.)

PHOTOS: Bristol and Levi in happier times <_<

After Tripp's birth in December, Palin discovered via text message that Johnston had been cheating on her. Once Johnston admitted to the affair, they decided to break up.(Ha) Eighteen months later, the couple reunited and shocked their families with an announcement: they were engaged.(Ha) Shortly after, Johnston informed Plain that he had gotten another woman pregnant,(Good Gawd there's more of them? The world already has enough undesirables aka Johnstons. I think it's time for some forced castrations.) which ended their relationship for good.(Ha) "I'd just made a complete fool of myself and given my family the middle finger," Palin writes. (The Final Countdown)
 
PHOTOS: Revisit Bristol Palin's DWTS days :|

Johnston, for his part, will share his side of the story with his own book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs, which arrives in bookstores this fall. (Cock in the Cunt: My life in the syphilis ward would sell more copies.)

===============================================================

That was not fun. Read more and find out why the vast majority of C4P commentators are drooling fucktards.

lol their real parents don't love them lol amiriteguys?

So they've decided that Bachmann's only accomplishment was that she claims to have raised 23 foster kids and talks about it all the time so it's obviously fair game for reporters to dig into and talk about. Isn't that just like how Sarah talked about being a mom and raising five kids as being preparation for politics? And aren't they same people who bust a nut every time somebody who isn't "on her side" so much as mentions her children? No? Okay. I must be the <.< crazy/obsessed >.> one.

 :\

It's Official: Stephen Bannon Is Trolloling Sarah Palin

Really?

I first began to suspect that Stephen Bannon was a trollol after reading that his film included several shots of barking dobermans, volcanic eruptions, and close ups of Rosie O'Donnell's face. After giving this poster a good once-over, I've come to the conclusion that my initial suspicion was 100% correct. Stephen Bannon is a vicious trolloling asshole of the highest order.

Shit that makes this poster shitty-

• The "double pump" tallywacker pose
• The open mouth
• The squinty eyes
• Someone felt like outlining her body with a thick white line so it looks like she's glowing
• Inappropriate mixture of cool (blue flag, green grass) and warm (fire red jacket, orange face) colors
• Two giant fucking microphones placed in the middle of the picture
• The low angle, pointed chin, and turned head stir up images of Soviet styled propaganda 
• The title still makes no fucking sense

She's Super Serious!

Fuck you, Ed Rollins-

“Sarah has not been serious over the last couple of years,” Rollins told Brian Kilmeade on his radio show, Kilmeade and friends. “She got the Vice Presidential thing handed to her, she didn’t go to work in the sense of trying to gain more substance, she gave up her governorship.”

Oh, yeah? Then please explain this-

Aw, shit...

News, Newz, And A .Gif

Shut up

It's MS-Paint. You try.

***

The Melodramatic And Often Defeated

NYPost-

The two-hour Palin movie, which writer-director Stephen Bannon plans to show in Iowa in a “Field of Dreams”-style cornfield, is getting a lot of attention as the former Alaska governor tours the East Coast.

[...]

This would-be “Fairbanks 9/11” certainly blazes with passion — hosannas of awe for Palin, brimstone of scorn for her detractors (especially Matt Damon, standup comics and anonymous commenters who say mean things on blogs).

But its tone is an excruciating combination of bombast and whining, it’s so outlandishly partisan that it makes Richard Nixon look like Abraham Lincoln and its febrile rush of images — not excluding earthquakes, car wrecks, volcanic eruption and attacking Rottweilers — reminded me of the brainwash movie Alex is forced to sit through in “A Clockwork Orange.” Except no one came along to refresh my pupils with eyedrops.

[...]

If you’re hopeful (or worried) that this movie is the secret trigger for a Palin relaunch, don’t be. Even if you fixed the blaring soundtrack and took out all the symbols of the cataclysmic evil opposing Palin (barking dogs, disaster footage, a closeup of Rosie O’Donnell), you’d still be left with a hopeless sputtering jumble.

HotAir-

On substance, the material is both compelling and detailed.  Bannon spends the first 90 minutes of the film on Palin’s accomplishments in Alaska, especially focusing on energy policy and government reform — which in Alaska are necessarily linked to each other.  For those unfamiliar with the specifics of Palin’s records as Wasilla’s mayor and Alaska’s governor, The Undefeated provides the background context for fights against the political establishment and oil-industry lobbyists that funded it. 

[...]

Unfortunately, much about the film distracts from Bannon’s argument.  It’s a terribly flawed film, especially in its sound editing.  The soundtrack music frequently battles the narration and interviews, much too loud throughout almost all of the film.  Most of the music itself is simply unpleasant, a cacophonous blend of bad orchestration in some areas, annoying techno in others, and operatic arias mixing with military music towards the end.

[...]

The visual presentation is almost as bad, although I’ll admit I’m no fan of quick-edit style anyway; those who do like it will not be as bothered as I was by it.  The visual style is more suited to one-minute, quick-cut campaign spots than a film that lasts for more than two hours.  People who appear in the film as commentators, like Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart, Tammy Bruce (LOL), and Meghan Stapleton, have their images jumping around on screen constantly, changing from straightforward color to overexposed monochrome and back again, against harsh white backgrounds.

So the general consensus seems to be that the documentary film's powerful message (Sarah Palin was super cool 4 1/2 years ago) gets bogged down by its own awful, disjointed presentation. Your ears are bombarded with annoying audio while your eyes are simultaneously subjected to a mishmash of ridiculous images. <_< Hmmm, I actually think that's the best way to describe Sarah Palin's life since she resigned from office. Are we sure Mr. Bannon isn't trolloling her?

I don't quite understand the title either. Sarah has been defeated a bunch of times. She lost the Vice Presidency to Joe F'N Biden. Being driven out of the Governor's office by Linda Kellen Biegel and the chickpea lady also earns you a tally in the loss column. Then there's that whole Joe Miller for Senate fiasco... dotdotellipsis 

But it did make Dan Riehl cry so it can't be all bad. :)



***

Doppelganger

I don't see the resemblance. The only feature that they share is under-chin fat.

***

Danger!

Aussie News Paper-

She may first seek advice from another unconventional female politician, Margaret Thatcher. "I am going to Sudan in July and hope to stop in England on the way," she said. "I am just hoping Mrs Thatcher is well enough to see me as I so admire her."

CNN-

Three Bulgarian airmen kidnapped in Sudan nearly five months ago have been freed, and appear to be in good health, the United Nations World Food Programme said in a news release Monday.

Telegraphing your visit to the rape capital of the world a month in advance might not be the best idea. If the armed natives could overpower three trained airmen, I think they could make easy work of Franklin Graham's prayer warriors. I'm sure a high profile celebrity would fetch a mighty fine ransom- certainly more than three Bulgarians. And just like the Somali pirates, the scumbags that make up the majority of Sudan's populace have anything to lose. Hopefully she can hire some freelance Israeli security to keep the camel riding wannabe-Arab rape patrol at bay.


Don't be a fool like Lara Logan. Sudan isn't a fucking Disney Land vacation. Leave the kiddies at home.

Ponder

The media turned Palin’s bus tour into a celebrity chase, instead of covering it as a political event.

The media keeps treating Palin like a celebrity rather than a political thinker, and they keep playing right into her hands as they do.(So being treated like Paris Hilton is all part of the master plan?)

With all of those reporters following the bus, why aren’t more of them reporting the political story rather than the celebrity story?

Because at this point she's nothing but a celebrity. Tim Pawlenty didn't commission a filmmaker to create a 2 hour movie about himself. Newt Gingrich didn't star in his own eight part reality show. Ron Paul didn't go camping with Kate Gosselin. Rick Santorum's daughter didn't go on dancing with the stars. Mitt Romney's son didn't take his (nonexistent) bastard spawn to LA to live with two women for a reality show. Jon Huntsman didn't write a book reviewing his favorite songs and movies. John Bolton doesn't start or actively participate in back and forth blood feuds with "traditional" celebrities. Michele Bachmann's daughter didn't get facial "reconstructive" surgery and take before/after photos for people magazine. None of the other GOP 2012 contender's first born daughters are trashy tabloid whores. (You want to know why Joe Biden's coke fiend has a better public image than Sarah Palin's whore? Joe Biden's coke fiend shut her fucking mouth and didn't follow daddy to work.)

Then there's the fact that she has a very large and devoted fan base that, unlike Ron Pauls, isn't made up exclusively of social outcasts and conspiracy theorists. Her fan base is made up of the slightly more main(lame-LOL-StillFunny)stream lonely housewives/sad dullard crowd. They feed off of that garbage. They will literally buy anything with her face on it.

On the other side of that coin we have the haters. Some of them loathe her, some of them fear her, and some of them just think she's a dumb puppy. All of them laugh at her.

Combine those two groups together and you have a giant niche market to push tons of shitty merchandise on. 

BUY! BUY! BUY!

Mercenaries 2: World in Flames

Sarah Palin : Going Vogue Magnetic Dress up Doll

Sarah Palin Talking Keychain - In Your Pocket Talking Keychain

Sarah Palin Bendable Action Figure Doll

Governor Sarah Palin Kit

Four Sarah Palin Going Rouge Collectors Refrigerator Magnet Pack

3D Raised Images 4 Pack Set Of 3" x 5" Spiral Notepads

Sarah Palin WTF 2011 Wall Calendar

Sarah Palin You Betcha! Page-A-Day /Boxed/ Desk Calendar 2011

Sarah Palin's Alaska

Sarah Palin Throttlenecks doll

99 Hilarious Sarah Palin Jokes: Pit Bulls, Hockey Moms, Death Panels And Other Jokes & Riddles Fully Approved by the Lamestream Media

America by Heart : Reflections on Shit And Movies

Comics!

Magazines!

Porno!

Back To Biznizz

Let's get creepy and focus our attention on a 10 year old girl

They've done something like this before

"A master of the stink-eye" who has "the unyielding determination of a young Dick Cheney" tempered with "the barely concealed malice of a young Karl Rove,"

Awkward

When Piper turned and seemed to shy away, embarrassed, her mother tried to encourage her to hand them out. But Piper handed them to mom and walked away.

Good times

Her daughter Piper, however, didn’t appreciate all the media attention. “Thanks for ruining our vacation,” she said to our photographer.

Where in the world did she pick that up? Oh, yeah...

http://twitter.com/#!/JNSmall/status/75551538508070913

All of this horseshit eventually leads to the inevitable lamestream "hit piece"-

Nobody likes a sad face :(

Piper in that shot looks like Grace, the elder daughter played by Ruby Jerins (she really does look like that kid) in Nurse Jackie. The one afflicted with anxiety disorder who aspires to be a saint.

Which of course leads to this-

You're a dick

A dick with leprosy

Initial angry response-

That's wonderful advice for the children. Not happy with your current situation? Well shut the fuck up about it and pretend to not be miserable. Have you lost some of that joy in life? Put on a happy facade and keep trudging along this shitty path we've laid out for you. We'll even provide you with a scapegoat to blame all your problems on. True happiness is for faggots and pussies anyway. ^_^ It's drastically important that your mama wastes a year of everybody's lives by leading a doomed Presidential campaign, so don't you go ruining it before it gets started with your pouty face, little girl. Sheya's already has $10,000 invested in this thing. She needs to see a return soon!

More thought out/reasoned response-

There is a certain point where, yes, Sarah should learn to discipline her child and not allow her to act like a total brat throughout their vacation. I will agree with that, as someone who once tried to act like a total brat throughout many a vacation. That being said, we don't really know what's going on. Maybe Piper is super happy when the reporters aren't there and then turns into an evil scowling menace as soon as the cameras show up. In that case, I think whatever Sarah's comment was (and Todd's) about how their family "doesn't need to be tested" or "has already been tested" is obviously false. So if Piper is legitimately as unhappy as she looks, telling her to suck it up and act thrilled is just shitty. If she's just scowling at reporters then fine, but don't run for President, Sarah. A child that can't handle the spotlight and isn't mature enough to express their frustration or remove themselves from it a la Track is like a ticking time bomb in life a campaign. If she's not really that unhappy but just acting like a brat because reporters are taking up their supporter-funded vacation time, then tell her to knock it off or she's going back home. I think it would help if Sarah actually figured out what the hell it is she's exactly trying to do with this bus tour and then communicated that to her children so they'd stop running their mouths and acting like everybody is annoying for trying to talk to them.

About That Bus

What does that say?

Join you? Well if you insist.

Governor Palin has repeatedly said this tour is not a campaign tour. She’s proving wrong those who claim that she’s simply looking for attention; she hasn’t even released her travel schedule. She’s not setting up a microphone and making prepared speeches to a plethora of gatherers. She’s simply taking in the richness of America’s history, and the media can’t get enough. So here’s a private citizen who’s on a family vacation, one might say, and media members are underfoot–and overhead.

Adrienne Ross is a moron and everybody who is acting like Sarah is not being a catty, spiteful, vindictive, petty bitch with this "not-campaign tour" is in severe denial.

What the fuck is she trying to accomplish? The more I hear about it the more it pisses me off. If you're just using a big ol' bus paid for by your political PAC money to take your family on vacation, then own it. Because at this point that legit *is* all she's doing. Which is fine, I say if people send you their money you should be able to do whatever you want with it. It's just that instead of being awesome about it she's being annoying about it. Or maybe it's not even her, just everyone else that's being annoying about it. Uffda Waters + Tammy Bruce + Amelie Badilah + Adrienne Ross = everybody needs to stop acting like the press is so LOL lamestream for following her around. That's what happens when you cock tease the nation about your intentions re: running for POTUS. Don't act so fucking flabbergasted at people doing their jobs.

Two possibilities here:

(1) She's using her PAC money to fund a family vacation while she still can, before she announces she's not running. +2 points

(2) She's using her PAC money to fund a weird spectacle as a precursor to a Presidential run and failing at everything a person could ever fail at. -300 points

Thank your mum for posting a fucking youtube video telling everybody about it and for traveling in a giant bus with her name emblazoned all over it, Asshole.

>_>

I'm sure they'll write all about the shit she did 4 years ago as soon as they're done writing about getting cock teased at this circus you've created.

Cool ^_^

Baw :'(

¬_¬ Too easy <_< Which is also too easy because Bristol herself is too easy >:O

Well

this is just adorable

This stunt made it painfully clear that she isn't anything close to being a pragmatic realist. How is the lamestream (lol it's still funny after the 10 millionth time) media supposed to accurately report the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How when they don't even where she is? But fuck 'em all, right? Let's punish everybody because Maureen Dowd and Kathleen Parker said mean things about her. I sure hope she doesn't play stupid, distracting games like this during a real campaign. >_>

Remember when everyone was bitching about how her trip to Israel and India was under-reported? That was fun.

Bloopdate-

She’s proving wrong those who claim that she’s simply looking for attention;

she hasn’t even released her travel schedule.

baw

Another Bloopdate-

:'(  I'm going to have to deduct 14 points from Todd's "you're so fucking cool" bank.

Well that's disappointing. But to be fair the idea isn't the problem, the execution is what's terrible. "Let's remind Americans about our founding" by creating a circus and pretending nobody has a right to try to find out where you are. If you want to be incognito then don't say "come along with us" and drive a big fucking decorated bus. And why would you want to be incognito if the point is to educate people? Nothing you're doing matches anything you're saying, Sa-sa-sarah. Essentially you're only educating people who bother to go online and read your blog, who are the people you don't need to remind about America's founding fathers/documents. After all, they are the ones that dress up in the costumes and....

>_>

Nevermind

And it looks like this is as close as she's going to get to "owning" it.

"How am I paying for it? SarahPAC," she said, adding that she's traveling in "our own personal motor home that we've had in Alaska."


"Check SarahPAC.com," she said. "I don't know why in the world you would ask a question like that. I'm just thinking about America and our foundations and our freedoms and our opportunities. Why would you ask something ..."

I'll take it. :|

The final bloopdate-

Cool story, bro.

If you're going to go on a national "teach people about their history" tour, you might want to try explaining it in a somewhat coherent fashion so shit like THIS doesn't happen.

My Vacationing & Blogging Skills Are Superior To Sarah Palins

Let's get started with this wonderful video about something-

Oh- o_o -my

So what the hell was all that about? It looks like a teaser trailer for a crappy 300 styled straight-to-DVD movie. Join the fundamental restoration of America? How? What's happening?

Somebody gonna get their ass kicked?

And then

Embarrassing performance art ¬_¬

Oh. So she basically put out a trailer announcing that her family was going on a vacation so her groupies would know to follow her. She's also blogging her fun filled family experience. I think she stole that idea from Britta Spain.

Even Piper was able to grasp the significance of being in the presence of our first President - who had such diverse interests - when she told me later "how hard he must have worked to keep that farm going!" And then she added, "And can you believe he was a commercial fisherman, from DC?!"

Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? This is the "fundamental restoration of America"? Blogging boring, unfunny anecdotes about how much it must have sucked to live in the 18th century from the POV of a wide eyed 21st century child is the master plan? ¬_¬ forever.

And I'm pretty sure that all that "hard work" is why George Washington had slaves, Piper. Even a dumb wittle puppy like you should be able to grasp that.

But enough about the bus tour/vacation nonsense for now. I'll give more of my oh-so-important thoughts on that later.

This is how you properly blog vacations

Prologue- Bachelor party in Atlantic City

This is what 217 singles looks like

Driving-

I pulled the short straw, so I got "sit in the trunk" duty.

A building!

Another building! We're almost there.

Hotel Resort & Casino-

It was too early to check into our room, so we went here instead.

All the dealers were either elderly men, or a member of an ethnic minority

College girls softball games. Who's betting on college softball?

Advertising!

Ads made of polluted NJ sand are my new favorite thing.

***

Hotel room break

***

Objectifying Skanks Women-

Lunch time.

Should I feel bad about this?

Because I don't.

Things got kind of creepy when I noticed a group of waitresses rubbing this kid's (I'm going to assume that his mom works here) head and shoulders. It was also around this time that I noticed another waitress carrying a 5 year old girl (I'm going to assume that it was her daughter) who was also wearing one of the Hooters tank tops. Time to go.

All the old and minority dealers were replaced with pretty looking white girls when the sun went down. There's racism and ageism at Harrah's.

Objectifying Whores Whores-

This is what the inside of a limo looks like.

This is what the outside of a limo looks like when it's parked outside a liquor store in the ghetto.

Welcome to whoreville

I was unfortunate enough to pay the chatty stripper to give me a lap dance.

Whore- So where are you from, Baby?

Me- Englishtown :\

Whore- What do you guys do up in Englishtown?

Me- Stuff....?

Whore- Let me show you what we do around here. Smack my ass.

And there is no sex sex in the champagne. Even after they say things like this there is no follow up. Not necessarily a bad thing.

Whore- I'm so horney. I haevn't had sex in three months.

Me- Uh huh...

Whore- I just want to whip out your **** out and go crazy.

Me- >_>

There was also plenty of awkward chit-chat

Whore- I just want to bite and eat you up

Me- Uh huh

Whore- But not really bite, I just mean I want to nibble on your ear a little bit.

Me- Cool....

And if you don't want a stripper to reach up your leg and give you a (one to be exact) tug, you should definaitly stay away from the jorts. Wear long pants.

Entertaining performance art

Not as terrifying story- A couple of minutes after sitting down (the chairs had wheels on them) a black stripper caught me by suspire by jumping off the stage on to my lap. We slid back something like 10 feet before the back of the chair crashed into some sad looking Indian computer technician guy. The stripper was forcibly motorboating my face the whole ride back. And since I didn't give her any money before or after, I think I was technically face raped. :| :'(

Not all single mothers can dance with the "stars"

And I would strongly recommend never touching paper money with your bare hands again. One of the girls named "Blaze" has a move where she tucks a dollar in your fly and then repeatedly rams her ass down on it before finally picking it up in between her sweaty ass cheeks.

I left feeling a weird mixture of disgust and frustration. Don't go to strip clubs, kids.

Leaving-

The view atop a parking garage.

This is an airplane not advertising Sarah Palin's bus tour. Missed opportunity if you ask me.

God Bless Smelly New Jersey

Epilogue- I lost a lot of money

153 singles and a 10

What you're not seeing is the stack of larger bills totaling 350 dollars. The only thing left of that is the 10. The fact that I didn't lose it all is a moral victory. Ronald Reagan and Sarah Palin taught me to look on the brighter side of life. ^_^