I Finally Got It All Figured Out

Whaaaaaaat did you do?

She's more Brystal than Bristol. And Brystal is more Snooki than human. And that's sad, annoying, and worst of all it gives me stomach cramps. The other things that bug me are that she's not really a good role model for anyone and she still seems to be chasing that Hollywood dream even though she has no talent.

Short

She's only really a good "role model" in the sense that outside of one (not killing her baby) decision, little girls should do the exact opposite of every choice Brystal has made since she hit puberty.

"So yeah, like, don't get an abortion because it's the ultimate act of selfishness and greed, but also don't do anything else I've done because I've somehow managed to turn a great opportunity into a truck load of awkward failure."   

Also spending your money on self-inflicted facial mutilation isn't such a good message for the kiddies. or your little sisters, you fucking asshole.

Bleck

More annoying TV shit with a fat/failed Disney creation, eh? You know, being a "good person" isn't a substitute for talent.

Annoying person: But what about DWTS, you asshole! She came in third place!

What about DWTS? Like politics DWTS isn't merit based.  If it was, Brystal would have been one the the first people eliminated. It is, however, all about telling a story that the masses will eat up (just like politics). Brystal's story was "You fuckers like my mom, so vote for me". People apparently enjoyed that story since she lasted so long, but not as much as that other lady's "Baw, I was in a movie about dancing with a guy that died of cancer last week, so you better vote for me" sob story.

She also greatly benefited for being the obvious target of the "Vote for the worst" people. 

Heartstrings > You guys like my mum, right?

Hope&Change > I got my ass kicked in Vietnam

She can't sing, dance or act, and her apple shaped body is awkward to look at. She desperately needs to go get a real job.

Aw. At least she tries her best :\

If your going to do dumb Disney shit at least do it with someone that people actually know and like. And that one comes with the added bonus of knowing how to have a good time.

PS-

Please fall into a hole. I really don't like you.

Half of the shit your mother has to deal with can be directly traced back to your stupid ass, and I think you know that which is why you keep trying to do all this shit to make up for it, but what you don't realize is that you suck and with each attempt to make it better, you actually make it worse.

Honestly-

You look like a street walker in a potato sack

Go to school, get a real job, shut the fuck up, and stay in your house.