Learn Nothing New About The Coolest Fucking Person Ever

How did it go in Alaska, Zev?

aka Conman Zev Chafets gets a free Alaskan vacation from the good people at Neweek. 

I had come to lunch hoping to learn a little about Jim’s elusive son, Todd—a figure of enduring fascination who just might, if Sarah Palin decides to make a presidential run, become the country’s first first husband.

But you failed miserably, because you suck miserable walrus scrotum. Only a few things stood out in this article

First-

Jim Palin, Todd’s father, has been hunting and fishing in his state for almost 50 years, but somehow he had never crossed paths with a squid, alive or fried.

Do you know why Jim Palin's never eaten a squid before, Zev? It's because the image of him consuming a squid is too fucking cool for the rest of society to handle.

It would look something like this, but only 1000x cooler.

Also worth noting is this-

Jim’s blue eyes sparkled behind his bifocals.

Zev Chafets has a womosexual crush on Todd Palin's father.

Finally-

But since 2008, they have become plain rich from Sarah’s books, lectures, TV series, and Fox News contract.

Fucking cool

Getting fucking rich from the quality products/services (minus the second book) that you produce/provide, and not making an total asshole out of yourself in the process, is what every child dreams of growing up. Good on Todd and Sarah for being ambitious (gasp!) enough to turn that dream into a reality so I could type out that dream/reality cliche at 4 in the morning.