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| What dark secret lies behind those doors? |
(Reuters) - The reasons behind Bristol Palin's apparent move to this quiet, tree-lined community south of Phoenix remain unclear, but her new neighbors say they are ready to roll out the welcome mat.
I think the reason she bought it was to live in it, dude.
The 20-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin and third-place finisher on "Dancing with the Stars" quietly bought a five-bedroom, 3,900-square-foot home in the Cobblestones Farms neighborhood of Maricopa for $172,000 on December 10.
Countless hours, turning into, countless days
A doubtful outlook...
Digging from my grave, that's my home actually
Sick and angry for no reason at all
Falling into Manson's thrall...
And how do you buy a house loudly?
News of the purchase, which only surfaced in the last few days, triggered media speculation over why the Alaska native would relocate to the lower 48 -- including reports she planned to study journalism at Arizona State University in Phoenix.
Moving to Arizona to study journalism is both gay and boring. Where's the secret births and baby cloning facility?
A Palin family spokesman did not respond to a request for comment on Bristol's plans for the home, built in 2005 and featuring a three-car garage and landscaped backyard.
Leave well enough alone, annihilate the telephone
Be what only you can see, a curious and odd belief
Meant to walk the crooked mile
Never blink, never smile
Sees itself in nothing much
A skeletal emotion push
Arizona State, meanwhile, dismissed the college reports.
Phew!
"Actually its a rumor. She's neither enrolled nor has she applied to ASU at this time," Sharon Keeler, director of media relations at the university, told Reuters.
The first thing that came to mind was "When did colleges get media relation people?" then it was like "Oh yeah, people get raped and killed at colleges all the time."
Maricopa Vice Mayor Edward Farrell said he showed Bristol's father, Todd Palin, around town in April but could shed little light on the reasons for the home purchase.
Again with the dumb "reasons" line. Hey, douche, she bought the house to live in it. Duh!
"He never indicated anything. I got the feeling that maybe they were looking around for possibly a second home, maybe a winter home, something to get out of the winter months in Alaska, just like the snowbirds do in the Midwest," he said.
Please, sir, do go on. I could listen to you prattle on and on about nothing for ever.
"But never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that he was looking for somewhere for his daughter," Farrell said. "When I saw that Bristol had bought, I started rehashing the visit and tour and thought, he never gave any signs of that."
You must have some dull fucking dreams, guy.
'A NICE SURPRISE'
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| AHHHH! Don't sneak up on me like that, Caps Lock |
Originally a farming community about 40 minutes south of Phoenix, Maricopa was incorporated in 2003 during the housing boom. Its sprawling, planned subdivisions offered cheaper prices than the Phoenix valley, but were hit hard by the foreclosure crisis.
Getting sleepy...
The city noted about 45,000 residents last year, up from just over 1,000 in 2000.
Getting boringererererer
Bristol's future neighbors in Cobblestone Farms, which features a small park with a little lake and date palms to frame the desert setting, were largely positive.
Date palms!?!?!?!?! I have to check that place out some day.
Local drug store pharmacist Ronny Kassees and his wife Monika live five doors up the street from Palin's new home in their own, slightly smaller house.
Congratulations are in order for Ronny and Monkia Kassees. They live five doors up from Bristol Palin's new home in their own, slightly smaller home. lol, I bet they're poor.
The couple bought five years ago near the top of the market, and said they were "way underwater" with the mortgage, in a street that has seen a wave of foreclosures and several homes stand empty.
Yup, definitely poor.
This "story" is two pages long!
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| I'm gonna pop |
I want to die.
"Their buying a house is a nice surprise, and we're kind of hoping it may turn around the economy of Maricopa and the surrounding areas," Kassees said.
I hear that if you hope hard enough, your wife just might turn into a real boy. What?
"I was a little shocked at first, but if she's going to bring the property value up, that's probably my best bet. If it will stimulate the economy in Maricopa, then I am all for it," he said.Why is this asshole still telling us how shocked/surprised he was that someone bought a home five house down from him? And she's not going to raise the property value or stimulate the economy of your shitty town. Not "for it" anymore, Kassess? Tough shit, Cuntface, because she already bought the place and there isn't anything you can do about it. Mlehhhh
"If she wants, she can buy my house too. If she made me a fair offer, I might consider it."
Fuck you.
Natasha Mays, a 36-year-old mother of two, lives opposite Palin's house. She first heard Palin had moved to the neighborhood when television crews pitched up on her doorstep.
Sound like fun.
"I've seen her a couple of times on episodes of 'Dancing with the Stars,' but I know that she'll like the neighborhood. It's a really great neighborhood. Hopefully they'll give her a little bit of peace and rest when she does move in, if she does," Mays said.
I'm sure that you talking to every microphone that gets shoved in your face will make her feel real welcome to you really great neighborhood, Natasha Mays.
Meanwhile Richard Brock, 48, a property investor fixing a house up the street from Palin's that he hopes to flip, said Bristol's arrival would be good for the community.
Why is this article still going on?
"You may agree or disagree with her mother's politics, but I think she held up pretty well on 'Dancing with the Stars,'" I really do. I think it was tough on her. My wife was watching, and I said 'that girl's handling her business pretty well,'" Brock said.
It's never going to stop, is it? :'(((((((
"I'm a little more centrist, but I'm not going to put my politics on Bristol. I'm just glad she's here," he said.
Ew, what? I really should have read that last paragraph. You better not put anything on her, you creepy fuck. Richard Brock, 48, a property investor fixing a house up the street from Palin's that he hopes to flip, is a creepy fuck.
(Additional reporting by Yereth Rosen in Anchorage and Steve Gorman in Los Angeles; Writing by Dan Whitcomb; Editing by Jerry Norton)
4 people contributed nothing to the advancement of the human race. I hope they all get ozena.
